I Hate You
A documentation of things I hate since I am so brimming with ire at this point in time I shall burn down everything that I can think of:
Emo: You suck. Maybe you want to cut yourself all the time since your music sucks. Look in a mirror, fruit cake, that hair is lame. It's like you wanted to be punk by giving yourself a mohawk but were too chicken to shave anything so you combed it center. And, if not that, you just didn't bother combing it at all. Yeah, that looks cool, it looks like you just woke up. Nothing is cooler than bed head. I mean, since when was that ever uncool or a symbol of laziness and object of ridicule? Oh, but no, you purposefully made it look like that, and since you spent effort to make crap, it must be cool because no one knows any better because they are all stupid, too.
Goth: Pillagers, marauders, rapists, and murderers. You disgrace their name by stealing it to describe your gay statement. You aren't scary, you're just pathetic. You are not "freaking out the establishment" with your outlandish behavior. The establishment is looking at you and choking on their laughter at the fact that anyone would be as stupid as you are and thus only produces silence. Anticonformity that is mimicked by droves of individuals really cramps the point, doesn't it? You really aren't even goth like you claim to be. Ten, twenty years ago, you would have been. Now, you are just a preppy ass wipe who lives near a Spencers or Hot Topic who can purchase the entire get-up you don, the same one worn by hundreds if not thousands of other preppies in denial. Wash that crap out of your hair, take off that make-up, and stop making black look bad.
Vampires: Yes, vampires get their own spot separate from goth since they make me mad for different reasons. You are not a vampire, you are a fan boy of Brom Stroker. Real vampires are brown with red lips, as that is what the dead looked like when the tales were born since the blood was not removed from the carcass. Also, wolves are your friends, not bats. Vampire bats were named after vampires as an oddity but then the etimology slingshot back to the origin and changed it up. Then, pretty much anything you think, say, or believe was just the crap spewed by Bram Stroker, whose book was only popular because of siphilis and turboculosis. Yum. You are not undead, you are not a creature of the night. As long as the production of vitamin D is linked with sunlight, you will never be separate from the day light. So, get a tan, stop having rickets, and stop wasting away the wee hours of the night sitting around at Denny's being "dark". It's not "dark," it's Denny's. I mean, what? Are you ordering your eggs sunny side down? Please, let me stake you, you damned aweful, poor excuse for a human being. I know you aren't a vampire, I just would love to drive a blunt, splintered piece of wood through your chest to inflict oh so much deserved pain and suffereing to you.
Skaters: What the hell is wrong with you? A bit obsessive, are we? At least the other groupings of rere's partake in a wide range of activities linked to their inherantly idiotic core, but you do one thing: skate board. You have got to be the most simple minded person in the world if skating all your free time away remains interesting after the first week. There's nothing else I can even mock about this. I slander your skating all the time, but that is all you do. There isn't even another part I could ridicule! Maybe I could make fun of the helmets or something, as they look stupid. Sure, they are safe and such, but society would not be at any loss should you crack open your skull. If you live skating, shouldn't you want to die skating as well? Seems like a just end to your meaningless existance.
Otaku: Oh, how I loath your kind. You have got to be the dregs of dregs. I say that with everything, sure, but I am feeling it now. You latch on to a society you do not understand and pretend you do. You learn a few buzz phrases and watch hours of crappy programming, be it the original from the land of origin or the horribly hacked up garbage aired on network television. You act as though regardless of the piece it is a mastercraft. No. Probably 99% of that stuff is total garbage. It was cool in the eighties. The cheesiness and bad voicing was its charm. It was not like anything else at the time. Now, it is just lame and inspires others to sink as low. That warm felt cheese is now realized to be just terrible writing, bad plots, and horribly cliche reiteration. Interesting main plots are ignored to explore boring character development that no one cares for. They may fight the supernatural for their job, but why not focus on their spare time spent in a coffee shop? Yes, that's a marvelous idea to suck. Then, since these strings of never ending shit are regarded, by the growing mass of so called nerds in the public that sweat it, as good, it is poorly imitated. Shit imitating crap is shitty crap. If nothing good is thrown into the equation, then nothing good can result. Corporations instruct that now their characters need big, ugly eyes and big hair and big suck. If it is identified with Anime, then it must be stolen, gutted, turned inside out, and worn on the head as a twisted mutalation. I could understand taking pointers from the foreign media, such as, "Hey, let's make fight scenes not suck." That is a notion, however, a general sense or way. It is not a physical component of Anime. The same can be found in martial arts movies. An actual component would be the sweat drops, the air puffs, the veins, the imagry invoked for thought sequences, etc. This is not an idea, this is a thing that was blatantly stolen and repeated in an awkward fashion. It doesn't flow, it doesn't seem natural, it just stands out sorely and reeks something awful.
Unoriginals: And, sadly, it's not just greedy networks that feed on this craze, either (nor is it the end of my bashing the Otaku, really), it's all the minds of impressionable youth (or, as I call them, fodder). Before, when little kids tried to draw, their would be ugly, mishapen lumps that were hideous to behold. I was one of these lump making youths, so I know that for a fact. However, my lumps shined brighter than most others, despite still being an ugly lump. People wanted me to make lumps for them. Amidst this sea of mishapen figures, both great and lesser, their was a ray of hope. The lumps developed, everyone's. Each one was, in its own right, unique and different. Amid this primordial sea of creativity, they developed and grew into their own. This is how brilliant artistic talents get made. People let their art be itself. They didn't make it be something else. This is the problem nowadays. I've seen a bit of the youths' work, and it is both frightening and disheartening. For starters, you still have those ugly blobs, which, as I said before, I started with, that's expected, but the problem is they will bear unmistakeable features from Anime, such as the eyes or hair. I have seen this terror grow in horrible directions. Because the artistic ability is limited, be it trying to be like Inu Yasha or Invader Zim, the cases vary, the evolution of the artistic persona is killed. It's like domestication, evolution's worst nightmare. Since the life of the artistic form is fenced in, it never expands beyond the given boundaries. This leads to the unbelievably great rendering of the exact same thing, over and over. I've seen pictures of people with some of the best looking Animesque heads, but, beyond that, they are utterly atrotious. This is because Anime doesn't really define much outside the head in the eyes of the ... um, eye, I guess? ... Beholder's eye? Anywise, positioning of limbs or twisting the hand is not covered, only the same, verbatum likeness is captured again and again. I've seen a lot of "good" Anime artists, but then you quickly realize that they are doing little more than tracing over and over again. Every face is the same, every eye is exactly the same, every frame is the same. All the faces are pointed chin, egg shape pointed down, with a small, convex curved nose. All of the bodies are lean and slender, never having an ounce of fat or any real muscular build. This is since Anime focuses on the ladies and the man-ladies (Bushinin, or whatever they are, the sissy boys, them). Some people actually admit their problem, saying that they can only draw two things: girls and very efeminate men, which really is just a girl. I've said it before (actually, probably all of it) and I'll say it again: ya just don't do this. Forget the fact that drawing Anime is the equivalent of speaking with a British accent, which is true, assuming you aren't British. This extends beyond the realm of culture identity, it spans to all media and originality. I got to see awesome artists like Jim Lee, Sam Keith, Ploog, Parkinson, Susan van Camp, Brom, etc. They all have an original and great style to their work. What does the future hold? A crap load of people who couldn't make par at a Korean animation shop? I fear for anything that needs an illustration in the years to come. They'll probably still be using the great work from those in this day, or just hold out for the generation-to-be-born to dish out pure and undefiled work.
Gamers: You suck major ass, you free-loading, priveleged bastards. I was given an Atari in my wee youth and mastered it. Then, years after its debut, I got a NES. After is an important note. Far after. Same with the Super Nintendo. That stuff was deadly expensive for its low-bits of glory and endless fun. What happens for the Gamers? Even with inflation, the higher tech games drop in price. Tons of them are flooded everywhere, but that's not enough for you. With your highspeed internet, you download illegal ROMs of games I've never heard of and brag about playing games that I was barely old enough to know of in the original Japanese. Are you proud of this fact or do you just want someone to beat you with a stick to put you out of your misery? When I spent all day playing a game, it was because Ninja Gaiden took that long to beat. You couldn't save it. Nowadays, you're just a lazy slob who doesn't feel like doing anything. Games are made to be beat now. Before they were an honor to complete while now it's just expected. I don't even know where this is going, but i just hate your guts, you smug, lucky bastards. Die, die, die, and run out of lives, continues, and credits. Hit the A button to make the ten second count go down faster so that you are finished.
Babies: How could I rip a new one for the sweetest an most innocent things on the planet? Well, baby ducks are no included in this spiel, so it's open season, bitches! Human infants are annoying, ugly, foul smelling, irritating, and ugly. Did I mention that one already? 'Cuz they are ugly little buggers. Everyone acts like they are precious and sweet. They aren't. They are, in all honesty, brainless parasites that will probably cling to you for longer than eighteen years. They wallow around in their own waste. Their mindless behavior is little different than that of disabled seniors, but we shun them away to homes. If a stupid baby that has done nothing for but keep you home, wake you up at night, made you gain weight, and a gave you a new, still sore scar, then they are adored. Yes, screw the person that dealt with you after you did all that same stuff to them, no, the ugly evil blob needs your love now. Bastards.
Breeders: This really is tagged onto the baby bit, but since they are not babies themselves, they get their own lock-and-load. An important note is this is anyone who has children, which, effectively, is everyone. One of the reasons I loath children so is what they do to you. They suck the life from you and leave you a husk of a being. Your brain is sapped of all comprehension, lowering to the vary level of the parasite. When they say having a baby changes someone, they aren't kidding. You are no longer fun. Instead of making dirty jokes or wise cracks, or amusing anecdotes about when you were totally wasted, everything you say and do is about your children. No one else cares about them, yet you banter on about how "cute" they are. Hamsters are cute. Babies are just stupid. Nothing they do is amusing to anyone. You only listen to what others say so that you can torment them with the tales of your own. Not only do I hate these brain sapped saps, but I fear becoming one. I have hundreds of children, as lame as it may sound (and I know it is), in each one of my creations. I know that any real progeny would usurp them in importance, unless I was a total bastard, which I very well could be. In either case or outcome, I do not want that to occur. I like my frivilous endevours into the worlds of my little creations, and I don't want to lose that. I will guard my children, my first children, by whatever means necessary. Breeders suck, and I shall avoid you and keep myself from becoming you at any cost.
Drivers: I use to be a pretty cool headed person. I was never one to swear. Really, I never cussed in the slightest. I was a good little boy. Then, I started driving an hour to work, and another hour back. This introduced me to something: the exciting world of blowing a vein in your head. I would swear more in one drive than all that in every Kevin Smith movie ever made. People just suck at driving, and it's not my fault. I'm the only one on the road driving the speed limit, you know, that law that no one obeys. Yeah. So, I have the properness of it all but people still suck it up. "Der, why is he going so slow in the slow lane? The fast lane is empty, and has been for some time, and I'm only going 30 miles above the speed limit, but I'm going to act like this guy is in the wrong rather than myself, because I'm a frickin' retard." I thought the drivers were bad there, but then I came to North Carolina, home of the most confusing roads ever imagined by man. With as angering as the roads are, the drivers are worse. I'm not sure if its in the traffic code here or not, but people will use the turning lane to turn into if they are making a left hand turn and the lane they want to get into is currently filled. It is the creepiest thing in the world when you driving and you see a car fast approaching you from the side, thinking he's trying to get it (which he probably was trying to). People think it's alright to dash on out with their left turn as soon as the light changes green when there is no arrow regardless of if on-coming traffic is heading at them. Then, when making left turns on moving streets, they act like they have permanent right-of-way and that oncoming traffic should stop for them. It's as though that blinker gives them super human powers, and they are impervious to harm. Apparently, the only thing that is invulnerable is their head to common sense. ... Bastards.