Greenborne- To Doom
The bleak, unforgiving sky stared down onto the harsh, blank expanse. Two figures transversed the horrible terrain. Leading the pair, a tall man holding a regal colored cloak over his face shielding it from the sands in the wind. His dangling coif rippled in the strong gusts. He pushed through the current with his bare body, armed in nothing but the green jacket on his back and the medallion on his neck. Trudging through the violent sands, the one who followed him was showing less struggle. A white haired woman, spread out wide and wild, wearing little if any armor, a chain top that eluded her slender waist and short, chain skirt. Her arms bore more metal than her body, with each fortified in a steel bracer from wrist to elbow. To one locked a shield bearing the mark of her family, Kelly, the rampant enfield. Behind the taloned beast was emblazoned her own, personal flare, the Z to which she was mysteriously affiliated.
"What are we doing out here?" whined Z'lupe, stooping in her gait.
"Seekin' adventure," shortly answered Greenborne through his upheld cape.
"Can't we do that somewhere with less sand?" She now leaned crashed upon the maniacs back to hold herself upright.
"For the last time, we must do this," Bimblesnaff sternly insisted. "It's part of my scavenger hunt." Pulling out a piece of paper, he pointed to item twelve: a perilous adventure with sand. Staggering up a towering dune, the lunatic stopped at its peak, throwing his arms out and shouting in triumph, casting his cloak out wide in the wind, this moment being the sole purpose he wore a cape on this travel. "We're here," he declared. "We have finally reached the Doom Dune."
"Doom Dune? How come I never heard of those before?" demanded Kelly. The green coated man smacked his head in disbelief.
"Because they are fan made," he talked down to her for her ignorance on the matter. Her face twisted to a demeanor more bewildered. "Ya know the giant, Gnomish fans meant to cool down the desert towns. Ya can even see 'em from here." Pointing to the edge of the horizon, lumbering structures bearing whirling blades spun and vortexed the grains that plagued them into the air.
"Oh yeah, those fans," she remembered. "I took the tour. They're pretty neat inside. One of them has a gift shop."
"Really? Get anythin' good?" questioned the Four Finger Fiend, completely setting aside the task that needed completed.
"Oh, I got the these. They are the cutest things," Z'lupe chimed equally as absorbed before stopping herself from lifting her skirt. "No, wait, I... shouldn't show you them..." Nodding slowly, Greenborne reached into his jacket pocket.
"Note to self," he spoke into his hand, "sell women's underwear."
"Why are you talking into your hand?" a yet again puzzled Z'lupe inquired.
"No reason," he pouted, dropping his empty hand to is side. "It helps me remember thin's, I guess." It, in fact, did not, which is why he preferred the method to his previous use of the memory frog. It did not take long for him to realize that his thoughts were not worth keeping recorded.
"Note: That chick I saw on the road today was hot!"
"Note: That other chick I saw on the road was also hot!"
"Note: I have a court hearing for lewd conduct towards the public in the morrow."
"Note: The judge is totally hot! What? Yes, I'm aware a trial is takin' place."
Additionally, it came to his attention that living things needed fed more than once in their life. This came to his attention through maggots. In his defense, he would have noticed its passing sooner, but the stench of death was regarded by many as a personal improvement to the goblin raised.
Wandering between the mounds with stealthy steps, Greenborne slink with arms raised, posed to strike at any threat that would reveal itself. Opposing him, Kelly strode along the sands in sweeping steps, thumping as swung her body haphazardly.
"What's even in this place?" complained and questioned Z'Lupe in the same sentence. "And why would anyone want to go to a place with 'Doom' in its name?"
"Just anyone with half a brain," justified Bimblesnaff with his half a brain. "Places o' Doom, Death, or No Return always have the keenest o' booty to snatch." His companion retained an awkward silence. "Booty is treasure, Z. Booty is treasure," the lunatic reaffirmed the lie. "Now, let's seek the barrow wench with the hot stash. Treasure, I remind you," he cut off Z'lupe's approaching question with a menacing, pointing finger aimed blindly at her. There quarreling was not conducted in the proper locale and evil was stirred in the ruckus. From out the sand broke a pair of giant pincers, blocking their path. With it rose many sets of long, thin armored legs before a long, plated body dripped off the grits. "Oh, no! It's a desert-"
"Lobster?" the girl blurted out upon its finned tail shaking off the sand upon it.
"What were ya expectin' to find out in the middle of the dry and waterless desert?" Pivoting a finger against his temple, the maniac flicked it off. "Duh!" Lowering his arm, a small blade slid out of his sleeve. With the knife in hand, a suicide dive was taken onto the crustacean's back with a flurry of futile stabs and cuts against the shell.
"Don't you have something... bigger or," Kelly searched for the word, "better than that?" The fiend hung his head in shame as the monstrous arthropod bucked to rid itself of him. "Oh, what? What happened to the war hammer I got you?"
"'Tis in the shop," he meekly explained, "again."
"I keep on telling you," the exasperated Kelly moaned, "that there is better ways to crack nuts. Seriously, it's a weapon of epic power. It shouldn't be used for such trivial matters." Ignoring his female colleague, who refused to offer any assistance with the bout on count of "learning him for being so stupid," Greenborne cupped on hand in another and began chanting. The heavens darkened more as cloud gathered, dropping a violent rain. Not a droplet splashed on the thirsting ground as the watery bullets all fell into an unseen basin above the maniac, rising in a tall column. Splicing a second invocation into the craft, a searing ring of fire formed at the base, blazing white, and several other spots up the shaft. Rolling of the beast's back, the hold over the pillar severed, and it crashed to the earth, passing through the smoldering circle of flame. As the water passed through, its temperature rocketed, dousing the desert lobster in boiling waves. When the steaming tower had passed, it was quick to vaporize from the parched ground and now still crustacean.
"Was all that really necessary?" implored Z'lupe with a arched brow. "You could have slain it a hundred different, less spectacular ways."
"The Steam Stream was so worth it, doll," affirmed the mad man. "Besides, now we can set up camp fer the night and have dinner already prepared." She was speechless. He actually did something stunning and intelligent for once. Before she could compliment this momentous event, Greenborne set the beast on fire and to cook a meager plate of beans.
"That's more like it," she sighed, not knowing if this was for the better or not.
