A pristine landscape laid silent under the violet sky flat without the faintest of ripples, dimples, or cracks. Its floor had gone untouched by foot or wind for ages, possibly centuries. It was a rarity in a world with only fragments of a moon left in the sky, filled with craters that stretch miles. The air was death, although it did not look it since there was no haze or fog hanging in it. The beatiful scene would be the last one would see. Its perfection was absolute.
Well, enough of that.
Crashing hard onto the smooth stretch, giant tires ribbed with spiked metal bands tore through the once unmarred soil as their traction was regained and sped off. The enormous metal craft ripped deep track lines in its haste.
"Floor this boat, dude," a spry man ordered as he swung down from the upper hatch through the narrow space to the cramped cockpit. Pulling a bandana off from around his mouth, it was returned around his crown. A glowing orb shone brightly, pressed securely between his stomach and elbow. "I don't wanna know what that thing was."
"It is floored, star boy," grumbled the fleshy driver, working all the speed out of the vehicle he could manage as he shifted into overdrive. "Just make sure that friend of yours has our back in case something does go wrong."
"Feh! Do they ever go right?" cackled the pale man as a glint of reckless insanity shone in his dim, gray eyes through his thin strands of hanging hair. "That's why Jimbo's all locked an' loaded, ready to-" A hard left interrupted the speaker as it crashed his jaw into the wall. The path ahead erupted as the dirt rolled aside from the risen titan. Spinning out of control, the driver muscled back his dominance of their direction, chosing the polar opposite of that thing.
"Something wrong with your pal's trigger finger, there?" He did not peel his eyes off where he was driving, keeping on eye on the rear view mirrors to evade the on coming threat. The smashmouthed man glared fiercely at the other while rubbing his face. Striking the loose, metal panel above him, he signaled to the third. Wiping the mess of black hair from his eyes, the driver stared right at their stalker with a twisted smile. The massive beast galloped towards them on two scrawny legs that should not have been able to hold itself up right yet somehow, as they scuttled at their blinding, was advancing on them. Its tawny hide was riddled with spurs. Its body tapered to the end, its pointed snout with two rows of beady eyes on top. Snatching up the intercom, a message was relayed, projected to the outside on a trio of powerful loud speakers. "Say your prayers, bitch!"
The sound, any send, enraged the slumbering guardian. It blew a thundering roar from its growing mouth that peeled back from stem to stern. Steam billowed from the gaping maw as its rage was only further incited. It was a poor response. From atop the armored carrage, a double barreled turret rose and spun around unleashing a hail of bullets that cut a line against the scenery, but only a few scored a hit. Blood spewed out of the wounds that were delivered as gallons poured out, but it was only scratches to the mammoth beast.
"Not exactly eagle eyed, is he, Rick?" mocked the driver.
"Cram it, Duncans," a voice crackled over the intercom. "You're job is to steer, not commentate. This is the first I've ever seen a unit like this, so I'm still figuring the controls out, though I think I got it now." The cannon pivoted back and forth, honing in on its target as a stream leapt from the shafts. The column pierced and borrowed through the monster's left leg, but the oddity still managed its struggle on one leg.
"Well, well, well, looks like we got a bugger on our hands," the grainy voice resurged. "Whadaya say we try a sidewinder crash?"
"Let's not," the panicked driver begged
"Too late!" And it was. The other had wedged himself into the cockpit and taken the wheel. Pulling a sharp right, the vehicle picked up onto only half of its wheels. Looping around, its path crossed where it had initially deviated from its original course and collided full force into the beast with its razor armed dozer. The turret dropped and, at point blank range, filled the creature with lead until it was dislodged from the blades that held it. The eyes looked eager onward through the now bloodied windshield for any signs of life.
"Nah, not chancing it." The gas was floored as the behemoth rose up onto the fallen abomination, crushing what remained in tact of its body. An eerie still hung in the air before they all broke out into a joyous chorus.
"We did it, Jethro! We got the Globe of Iluski and escaped with our lives! This puppy has been on the bounty list for years! And we did it!"
"You know, Shadrick, at first I was little unsure about working with you," admitted Jet, "but now I'm glad I did."
"Why? 'Cuz I'm a starman?" innocently acted Hopkins.
"No, because you make your bird wear hats, you freak," jested the driver.
"Hey, hey! Those are Bishop Jim's hats. I don't even know where he's keepin' them," the spaceborne man snarked as his avian companion returned from the gun turret.
"You know, fellahs, we've struggled on our own in the past," the bird noted, "but I think we make a pretty good team."
"Because we're completely unlogical in our arrangement and pairing?" Duncans put forward.